The Real Danger of Oversharing

“If my husband even tries…” the checker mutters as she scans the ground turkey. “He knows exactly what he did—and he knows better.” So, when he told me what to cook last night, I shared a few things.”

An orange slips from the produce bag and rolls down the conveyor. She snatches it mid-spin and drops it onto the scale without missing a beat.

“He’s messed up so many times,” she continues. “At this point, he knows to keep quiet.”

She packed up my groceries, handed me the receipt, and moved on like it was another day. She then thanked me and resumed chatting with the person behind me.

I’m always fascinated by the surprising moments I overhear. They give a glimpse into someone’s life without any filters. This is the raw, real-life storytelling you find on Betrolla. Here, the messy parts of being human take center stage.

Maybe it’s because I grew up when people didn’t share their business, definitely not with strangers. Now, these small glimpses feel strangely personal. It seems we’re all lowering our guard in public spaces.

Keeping It Real

I’m all for authenticity.

Faking that everything’s fine only makes things more complicated. Sometimes, opening up—even a little—can help. I’ve written about my struggles with chronic pain and parenting because I know others are going through the same.

But, telling everything to everyone? Nope.

Oversharing makes listeners uneasy. Of course, she might replay the moment later and wonder if she said too much. That’s usually when the awkwardness starts to creep in.

Sharing Our Stories Feels Good

Talking about your sex life or your mom over wine with a friend is one thing. Sharing that stuff with a coworker at the office? Different vibe.

Studies show that opening up builds connections. Even gossip, when done right, can make us feel connected. But saying too much to the wrong person in the wrong setting? That’s where it backfires. That gets awkward fast. It can hurt your relationships and come back to bite you.

Researchers say opening up can feel exciting, and that rush makes us talk more and forget to filter. That’s when things can go too far. Afterward, those awkward feelings—and the fallout—usually start creeping in.

Still, oversharing can be hard to resist even when we know better. Some researchers think it’s almost instinctual, like our brain is trying to search for a connection.

Avoid Oversharing

It’s tough to hold back when emotions run high, like when we’re excited, anxious, or overwhelmed. So, it’s important to notice those moments. Set boundaries to protect yourself. This way, you won’t say more than you intended.

To Help You Navigate That Line, Here Are A Few Things Worth Remembering:

1. Listen more than you talk.
2. Know your environment. Even in our casual culture, some topics should stay off-limits at work and elsewhere. Keep personal gossip out of professional spaces.
3. Recognize your audience. The content of our conversations changes based on who we are with. It’s different from talking to work colleagues or clients if we’re with close friends. Know your audience and the goal of the chat before saying something risky. If you don’t want your mom to find out, maybe don’t post or say it in the first place. Moms always know.
4. If your friends are teasing you about how much you share, it might be time to reduce the amount.
5. Consider how you feel after a conversation. That “uh-oh” feeling after a conversation is usually a sign that you went too far. Learn from it and add a filter next time.
6. Take deep breaths. I get anxious before social events too, and that nervous energy can lead me to overshare. Deep breaths help me calm down and remind me to listen instead.
7. Inquire about others. This helps you guide the conversation and makes it more enjoyable.

Well, That’s Just Awkward

If you’re in a chat where someone is oversharing, try these tips to ease the awkwardness.

Be polite but firm. You can add some humor if you like. Just make it clear you’re not looking for a long personal chat.

• Try validating the conversation and then changing the topic. “Marriage is hard; we all have rough spots. What are you doing that is fun?”
• Recognize the nature of the conversation. Ask yourself: Does this person need to vent, or is this crossing a boundary? If it crosses a line, it’s okay to step in and put a stop to it.
• Respect others. If someone’s privacy is being invaded, say you’re not okay discussing it. In a group? There’s no need to make it awkward—shift the energy or slowly step away. “Drinks anyone?”

Here are my tips for maintaining boundaries. I aim to avoid awkward and costly disclosures, but are you in my close circle? Then, spill it all—I’m here for the unfiltered version.